My congressional race didn’t get ugly

On March 3, the night I said goodbye to my dream of serving in the 119th Congress, one of the first calls I received was from one of my opponents.
It didn’t surprise me. I’d been expecting the call; he beat me to the punch. Results had come in, and after we’d been talking about the odds all day, we’d promised to stay tuned. When they came, it made sense we’d discuss them with each other.
As I think about it, I spent most of election day next to one of my many opponents, talking to voters and earning support but also laughing together, sharing food, spending time with each other’s families.
It was not an election day anomaly. Some of us exchanged texts and calls regularly. We had countless forums and events where we’d engage in casual conversation. It’s such a unique thing to be a candidate for public service. Few people can understand the constant attention, the long days, the sacrifice for your family, the desire to serve, the drive to win, the stress of meeting expectations, the fear of falling short and the inability to have an off moment. We found camaraderie in each other.
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For all the supposed glamor of being a candidate, I can tell you there are few experiences as humbling. Rightly so. It’s about the honor and privilege of serving your neighbors. It should be hard.
It was nice to have people in the same boat, having the same experience. It was only possible because we treated each other with dignity.
I still speak often with several of my former opponents. We’ve broken bread together. We chat about politics and our lives.
With the dominance of Republicans in Texas politics, most races are won in the primary, so primary season can be more aggressive and hard-fought than the general election in November. It’s truly in Texas primaries that we see ugliness, so the friendliness in my race was extremely rare.
It shouldn’t be.
I am not saying our campaign did not have ugly moments. It did. But we, as candidates, didn’t have them. We didn’t exchange curt words or ignore each other. We respected each other’s turns to speak and focused on the issues.
At our very first forum, when it was my turn to talk, there were 11 candidates in our race. I set the tone. I told the public that we were all patriots, looking to earn their support and serve our country. I said I was not going to speak ill of any of my opponents. My aim was to share my vision and become their favorite. My job was to earn their vote, not to discredit anyone. I asked the crowd to pray for all of us.
Afterward, several people came up to me and thanked me for setting the stage for positivity and focusing on the issues. It is a trend that continued, and I was thrilled to see that all of us were up for the challenge. At the following forum, we all made it a point to shake hands, talk and be collegial.
I know I wasn’t the only candidate who heard positive feedback about our race and our dynamic as candidates. Voters commented about it. People were grateful. They felt it was a breath of fresh air. They heard about our policies instead of grievances.
So what is the point of all of this? That even in these troubled times, it’s still possible to disagree but not be disagreeable.
Voters win in the end because it drives candidates to talk about their perspectives and unique approaches to the issues instead of only attacking one another. It forces voters to think critically about nuances. We all win, and democracy thrives.
I have had these unlikely friendships and positivity on my mind as we enter the general election season, and I already see the lack of consideration on both sides of the aisle. It spills over from the politicians to the public, and we start to see each other as enemies instead of neighbors. Discourse suffers, and policy plans get lost in the attacks.
Civility could win out. If candidates decided to focus on issues instead of attacking each other, the voters would follow. A healthy debate is critical for our elections, but it does not need to be nasty.
Our shining city on a hill is built upon the positive narrative and vision of candidates for public office.
Luisa del Rosal is an entrepreneur, former congressional staffer and the former executive director of the Tower Center and Texas-Mexico Center at Southern Methodist University. She ran for the 26th Congressional District in the Republican primary.
Part of our opinion series The American Middle, this essay encourages civility and even friendship despite political differences.
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